Demetri Martin- Dictionary
I bought a dictionary. The first thing I did was, I looked up the word “dictionary”, and it said, “you’re an asshole”. -Demetri Martin @HelloSelah_
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I bought a dictionary. The first thing I did was, I looked up the word “dictionary”, and it said, “you’re an asshole”. -Demetri Martin @HelloSelah_
Demetri Martin- Dictionary Read More »
Rice is great if you’re really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something. -Mitch Hedberg @HelloSelah_
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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing ‘Happy Birthday.’ -Steven Wright @HelloSelah_
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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy, and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too. -Rodney Dangerfield @HelloSelah_
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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. -Oscar Wilde @HelloSelah_
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It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance? -Ronald Reagan @HelloSelah_
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Look to the future, because that is where you’ll spend the rest of your life. -George Burns @HelloSelah_
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You should bring something into the world that wasn’t in the world before. It doesn’t matter what that is. It doesn’t matter if it’s a table or a film or gardening—everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say ‘I did that. -Ricky Gervais @HelloSelah_
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You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it. -Robin Williams @HelloSelah_
Robin Williams- Use Your Madness Read More »